Parenting and leadership wisdom from Joshua

Now that the Lord has given the land to Israel, and taken Joshua off of the battleground, the rest of the book (chapters 13-24) focuses on Joshua’s leadership as he establishes the house of Israel.  His role shifts from Patriot to Papa, and he does it brilliantly.

20:1 Then the Lord said to Joshua, 2 “Say to the people of Israel, ‘Appoint the cities of refuge, of which I spoke to you through Moses, 3 that the manslayer who strikes any person without intent or unknowingly may flee there. They shall be for you a refuge from the avenger of blood. 4 He shall flee to one of these cities and shall stand at the entrance of the gate of the city and explain his case to the elders of that city. Then they shall take him into the city and give him a place, and he shall remain with them. 5 And if the avenger of blood pursues him, they shall not give up the manslayer into his hand, because he struck his neighbor unknowingly, and did not hate him in the past. 6 And he shall remain in that city until he has stood before the congregation for judgment, until the death of him who is high priest at the time. Then the manslayer may return to his own town and his own home, to the town from which he fled.’”

This is one of those Old Testament texts where you don’t have to strain a bit to see it pointing to Jesus. Check out B.3, here.

I have great parents!  They did so many things so well, but some things really stand out.  For example, I almost always felt heard.  That was huge for me.  I was given a hearing, and an honest one.  If I ever felt like I was denied the opportunity to state my case, I felt horrifically wronged.

I was almost always guilty….but occasionally, I wasn’t.  Most of the time, when I was actually innocent, my parents gave me a voice to explain, and I was exonerated…or at least acquitted.  Even though there was collateral damage all around and all signs pointed to me, I would be given a chance to be heard, and I would be listened to, and outside of clear evidence that I was lying, I was believed.  They trusted me.  When I was busted, I got punished (let there be no doubt!), but the benefit of the doubt was always mine.

I just can’t tell you how much I valued that trust.

There were times I didn’t earn that trust.  And yes, there were a few times that I took advantage of it. But there were many many many times that I made radically different choices because I was afraid to lose it.

My parents had to be patient, understanding, and slow to anger in order to do this.  They had to discipline and train with intentionality.  They had to want justice more than they wanted vengeance.  They had to love mercy.

They had to shed the desire to be the parents who always get their man, in order to be the parents that could raise a good man.

This is the value that God is telling Joshua to instill among the people of Israel.  God gives Joshua a system to see to it that justice is taken seriously, and that vigilantism is stopped.  The guilty were to be punished, but not before they were heard.  The innocent were to be heard, and freed.

Statements like, “no child of mine will _____!” and, “Not on my watch!” reveal pride and pride alone.

Emotions run high with our children…we love them so deeply, we want so much for them to do well, so it’s hard to let the spirit of Christ rule in our disciplining, rather than sheer angst and determination.

It’s kindness that leads to repentance…and while it is certainly possible to break a child’s spirit and accomplish begrudging submission, it’s respect and admiration that will cause children to truly honor their parents as the Bible commands.

I bet this is particularly difficult for parents who weren’t given the benefit of the doubt when they were growing up.  For many, being a parent means finally getting a shot to have the final say.  Search your heart–if in your parenting, or in your leadership, there’s any part of you that exclaims, “Now I get to be the one in charge, what I say goes!” seek the Lord and beg him to root it out of you once and for all, it’ll ruin your family.

In every decision ask yourself: “Is this humble servanthood?”

Humble servanthood will force you to be tougher than you’d ever choose to be…and it will force you to be softer than you’d ever choose to be.  Think about it.