a double-parked Lexus with APASTOR vanity tags. Subtle.

As a pastor, there are few things I hate more than seeing someone become APASTOR.

Here are five reasons that one might want to become APASTOR:

1. They want to be a punchline.
2. They prefer extorting over exhorting.
3. They want to validate the caricatures of clergy found on shows like Family Guy and South Park.
4. They prefer having servants rather than being one.
5. They have no fear of God and no respect for his Word.

But a pastor must be very careful, because there’s APASTOR lurking within all of us.

Here are fifteen ways that a pastor might unwittingly become APASTOR:

1. Believe the ridiculous lie that people are coming to church to hear him (or her) talk.
2. Be flattered when people insist on meeting with “the pastor” instead of other leaders in the church.
3. Keep secrets in order to maintain the “pastoral mystique.”
4. Stop praying…even for a day.
5. Forget the way that Jesus lived.
6. Buy into that entitlement driven health-wealth nonsense.
7. Only listen to his biggest fans…because they really understand him.
8. Ignore his critics…because they’re obviously not hearing from the Lord.
9. Stop confessing his sins to other people.
10. Forget that he’s a dumb sheep, too.
11. Figure that being in ministry makes him one of God’s favorites.
12. Become a one-man show…because if they understood the vision they’d vote his way.
13. Allow himself to take the credit for a good worship experience.
14. Think about how important his job is.
15. Make it all about the numbers, baby!

I know this blog is read mostly by the people who attend the Maryville Vineyard: I’m so proud to be a pastor…but watch me closely, if I start behaving like APASTOR call me on it.  If I’ve not gone too far, I’ll listen. Thanks!

Thanks also to Holy Cow Creative for what was quite possibly the tweet of the year.